Check me out on Tone’s World!!!
Check me out on Tone’s World!!!
Good lord I’ve been busy with this book and my company. There’s so much to do and so little time. I think of all types of wonderfully deep and enlightening blog posts to put up, but every time I open my computer…I work!! I’ve never been happier or felt more fulfilled. I know that I am doing exactly what God intended me to do and it feels great.
This book began as some crazy idea. Hell, I don’t even know what I was thinking when I grabbed my 5 Star Lil’ Fat Notebook and furiously scribbled random topics having to do with college. I managed to save that notebook for two years until I finally decided to do something with it. Initially, I figured it’d be my hustle. I’d have bragging rights as an author and make some money on the side. It soon turned into a personal mission and is now the final step in my healing.
Once I officially make the book available for sale, my healing will be complete. I will be able to close that chapter of my life and move onto the next. I’m not overwhelmed, but I’m too excited to dedicate my time to just one thing. It’s like reading your favorite novel then trying to read as fast as you can once you get to the end. You just want to finish, and you want to see what happens next.
I’ve been designing a flash website for my company (Noteworthy by Jaz), editing/formatting & promoting the book, and getting ready for my big move back to Atlanta. People tell me they wish they had my drive. I ask them why they feel they don’t already have it? I am nothing but a big ol ball of pure passion. My struggle means nothing if I don’t pull from it to grow.
I’m going to end this with a short paragraph/story I had to put together durring a training class at my job. I had to use the words: persevere, optimstic, opportunity, curiosity, challenge
Show your support!!!
I’m not the one to cry. I’m not even the one to really get choked up over anything. At times I even think it takes an onion just to remind me that my tear ducts actually work. Don’t ask me how it happened, but ya girl actually got a bit choked up on my way to work this morning.
While listening to Jazmine Sullivan sing about falling in love with another man, everything just hit me at once. I could suddenly hear Darwin telling me that I needed to get ready to write my autobiography because I was gonna be somebody important. I suddenly felt a sense that I was on the edge overlooking something big that I was about to walk into with all the confidence in the world.
I stated it first in my Dear Hater letter. I am motivated by haters. They are my fuel. The hater fueling my writing career is the very first hater I ever had. It was the asshole at The Call Newspaper who misquoted me when I almost had a children’s book published in elementary school. He flipped my words and quoted me as saying that the writing part was hard but the illustrations were fun and easy. Hell, the illustrations were the hard part! I couldn’t draw for shit so I used various types of paper and cut out little shapes to piece my drawings together. It took forever!!!!!
Making matters worse, he said that my early success would most likely not lead to anything. Who the hell was he to announce to the world that there was a slim to none chance I’d actually get anywhere where this writing thing?! If I wasn’t so upset at being misquoted, I really could have gotten discouraged by his remark. I still have the newspaper clipping and am hell bent on stalking him and sending him a copy of the article along with other articles I’ve had published writing BY me in a newspaper 100x bigger than the one he wrote for. I also plan to send it with a copy of the book, and an article about my book.
He popped my Hater Cherry!
The feeling I felt in the car was so much deeper than the satisfaction of showing somebody up that worked against me in life. I felt a sense of purpose. Like everything in my life had built up to this very moment. To this book. If I would have never gone through the things I had gone through….If I had never met the people I had met…..If I had never made the decisions I made (good and bad)….this book would have never come to be.
I just really took time to thank God for everything. I finally understood why so many rappers thank God despite their often unruly lyrics. God truly takes you as you are. The more messed up you are, the more he can do with you. God changes you, but he does not change who YOU are. Those rappers realize that they got where they are because of Him even if the general public doesn’t know their full story. The same applies with me. I look back over my life, and realized it was nothing but God.
I feel like I’m sitting on a best seller. I stand behind my book 100% and am fully prepared to throw every resource I have into this to see it through. I know if I put in the hard work, God will carry it to where it needs to be. He’s gonna open the doors and I just have to have enough stamina to walk through them. I feel like I am beginning to fulfill the prophecy a man told me after praying for me. I just feel it in the very depths of my soul that I am somebody important at this very moment…
It’s another one of those nights where my brain won’t shut off. One idea gives way to the next, which leads to another, until I get no rest. I have A Hustler’s Ambition. The nerdy part of me advocates sleep. Sleep is my body’s way of resting and resetting. The hustler in me says, “Hell No!” In a state of temporary unconscious rest, I won’t be able to brainstorm. I loose 8 hours of thoughts. Who knows what great thoughts I coulda thunk up.
Is my fear unnatural? Possibly. When I told the docs how my brain works, they put me on meds for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I really thought I was messed up til I got to see Diddy in action. If little sleep will turn me into a mogul, I’m with it. I’m down for the cause. I’m creating imaginary picket signs and directing supporters to man the lines surrounding my pillow.
Picket signs may be a tad too extreme, but you get the point.
A true Hustler’s Ambition is to be at the top of your game at all times. For me that means being well rested so I can have a successful day at my 9-5. A successful day there gives me the resources to fund my hustle (“The Miseducation of an Urban Nerd”).
In actuality, sleep is my hustle. It’s nothing to fear. Usually I say, “I can sleep when I’m dead. If a lack of sleep shortens my life, at least you’ll know I lived every minute of it!”
I’m still shoutin it, but my employed ass needs to keep it that way. Time to count sheep. I’m sleep.
Those “Nerd Nightmares” really inspired me to get my unemployed ass up and be productive. I’m currently writing a book. I plan to drop it by the end of September. It’s called: