I finished up my first semester as a full time student since collapsing back in 2006. I must admit, seeing those grades posted up felt damn good…most would say the semester was a success. However, something just doesn’t sit well with me.

Race.

I begun my collegiate journey at a HBCU (historically black college & institution) but will end it at a PWI (predominantly white institution)…a catholic one at that.

I slept my first night as a legal adult in an Atlanta dorm room….yet I finished the first semester of my Junior year as a 23yr old. Needless to say, it’s been 5yrs & my views on life have changed dramatically.

Never before have my belief systems been challenged or tested as much. I went from forgetting white people even exist, to being the one raisin in a sea of grits. Not fun. While other black students just take it, I fight assimilation every step of the way. I guess that’s what happens when you are educated about your history (post-slavery & before civil rights), taught by former Black Panthers, and walk the grounds where the best & brightest of our race strolled.

My one goal (besides earning my MBA) is to leave a big black footprint on Rockhurst University. They WILL aknowledge race. The WILL admit they see color. They WILL stop overlooking the brown, yellow & red people under their noses. I swear fo’ gawd THEY WILL ACKNOWLEDGE MY PRESENCE.

Martin Luther King Jr. is overlooked because he is so widely talked about. I, myself, have been guilty of ignoring him. What I have come to realize is, I have used his philosophy. Work within their rules, remain peaceful, and organize the people. There is no need to be a “threatening” black, as the very notion of CHANGE is a threat in and of itself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Malcom, but you can’t bring a gun to a campfire sing-a-long.

MLK had guts…balls…strength cuz the Lord as my witness, this is hard. I signed on as President of Black Student Union thinking I would be in a position to organize students to educate, empower, and bring about change.

Those ign’nt niggaz.

I don’t care if some are reading this. Black people are our biggest problem. Bickering. Fighting. No pride. Lack of discipline & focus. Most won’t shut up and follow. They are NOTHING like HBCU students so they can’t be led like HBCU students. So how do I lead em?…..hell if I know.

Frankly, I’m wondering if I still want to try….wondering of it must be left up to the Talented Tenth. (Perhaps this is why WEB DuBois didn’t fool with the other 90)

It seems that progress must be made alone. As if one leader must leave the pack and go ahead of the crowd instead of playing the roll of a team captain…making sure no one lags behind. Truth is, most are perfectly content with their current situations…or just not angry enough to change anything.

You cannot force a mule to drink who is determined to die of thirst.

So where does this leave me? Should I abandon my post?

I’ve helped to bring about a Diversity Initiative in the Helzberg School of Management.

I cried foul when I was the only one not accepted into the honors business fraternity, Delta Sigma Pi,…told they would not be hand delivering a letter because they “were not familiar with that part of town,”….told to hang coats when my disabled ass was supposed to be checking people into an event….given dirty looks when I said hello….then told to not be so sensitive

I pointed out the gigantic hole in the curriculum, which teaches students to be cognizant of global cultural differences yet to act as if diversity in America is limited to age and gender.

I’ve made several allies, but even more enemies. I am considered a radical racial hell raiser. I am the thorn in the foot of this broken system. I am determined to shake things up until someone admits it needs to be fixed.

When I began writing this post, I was at odds with myself and was almost certain I needed to keep it low key from this point forward. Now, I disagree. I have not done enough! God gave me balls the same circumfrence as the domes found in Athenian architecture. I damn sure intend use them.

My spot as president is still up in the air. Honestly, I would rather be in a club that promotes diversity and free forum exchanges instead of exclusion. I want there to be a student run organization that looks like what I want Rockhurst to be. Mixed. Diverse. NOT SCARED OF RACE.

I must come to grips with the fact that I am a “Rebel Rouser” but I am in the company of Martin Luther King, Jr., Ghandi, and Jesus of Nazereth. I may attend a PWI, but I am not a PWI student. I am student of the Illustrious Clark Atlanta University, in attendance at a PWI. When its all said and done, my blood bleeds Panther Pride.

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