I know the title of this one is off the chain, but that’s what has been on my mind this week….BALLS. Who has em? Who thinks they have em? and Who acts like they have them, but they aren’t quite (or will never be) full grown? Maybe I should back up for a second. Say….”Jaz, what happened???”

JAZ, WHAT HAPPENED?

This past week, I was completely focused on my grind as I prepared for the Noteworthy Jewels by Jaz Preview Sale. As you can see below, I did my thang! As many of you wonderful Christians out there know, when you are truly doin ya  thang bullshit will keep coming your way. I was prepared. I pulled out my “Nigga-Moment Bullshit Blockades” and dodged the drama like I was on sum…Jack be nimble, Jack be quick type shit.

I paid the situations a little attention, but not as much as I would of liked to (meaning drop everything and write this posting). So here goes….

Situation #1: (note: this happened in October, but sets the scene for what’s to come)

A chick I went to HS with got wind that I chose not to invite her to my birthday party because she was wack. Apparently that really upset her…further proving her wackness. At the same time, I wrote an entry: “2 Categories of Life” that referenced her long time joined at the hip friendship with another chick from HS. I have no shame. When I reference you, I tell you…besides, it was a great posting about realizing: different strokes for different folks but  all strokes are good…positive.

Using the blog entry as her vice, she proceeded to place a phone call to yours truly, irate that I indirectly referenced her friendship. It was clear she had not read the posting, did not understand it, or was simply slow. After placing a Giiiiiirrrrrlll guess who decided to grow some balls call to my dear friend Brit, I learned that her real beef was being called wack.

Moral of the Story:

Speak what’s really on your mind. Anything less means you tried to grow balls, but ended up with ping pong balls instead of dodge balls. Stay within the realm of the size of your balls. Not doing so #WillGetYouSlapped (verbally)

Situation #2: Everyone has something about them that embarrasses them and/or is grounds to get teased about. I have sweat. Imbalanced Hormones result in my body acting like a menopausal woman…sweat, hot flashes, etc…The sweat isn’t funky, but it can get embarrassing at times. However, I don’t let it stop me from life.

A chick I went to HS with…notice the running High School theme?….posted a picture to Facebook taken at a house party in July. Hot summer night, liquor, dancing the night away…needless to say I had sweat.

This chick & the Situation #1 chick commented on the pic several times, as if to have a secret conversation on THE INTERNET about a situation that was not secret, sweat in plain view. Pause: So far we have to chicks with not enough balls to purposely not tag me in the picture, and ballsy enough to talk “around” the situation, but balls to small to say it.

Being the real don diva she is, my homie Brit tagged me. I promptly invited the two chicks to speak their minds. After a pause, one said she was told to tag the sweat. This is where being a puppet gets dangerous. I verbally shut her down. She removed the picture. She blocked me. Bitch tucked her internet tail and ran.

Moral of the Story:

Don’t borrow someone else’s balls unless they’re huge. Chances are, if they don’t have the balls to speak for themselves its a good indication that they have ping pong balls or none at all. In addition, don’t call someone out when your own shit {items you have control over} is in shambles.

All I’m trying to teach is a principle anyone from the hood learns at a young age. If you can’t fight, don’t talk shit. Never write a check your ass can’t cash. Pick your battles wisely, because at the end of the day, it’s their balls against yours and you don’t want to be a bottom….because….well….you’ll end up fucked.

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