Please note that I am not attempting to raise awareness or protest black men dating white women. That subject has been stomped in the ground, then set on fire by a nicotine addicted monkey. Needless to say, I’m not going there…at least not today. I really and truly want to know what the hell successful black women go out and get once we’ve “Made It.”

In rising to the top, we are willing to do what it takes to at least look the part. This includes breaking the bank, maxing out credit cards, or God forbid purchasing the all mighty 5-star quality knock of handbag. Damn. There goes the promise of a luxury item…..

Perhaps our signification of notoriety is more closely aligned with that of our male counterparts. A white man may be the answer…..HELL NAH! Statistically, black women shy away from dating outside of our race. Psssst: It doesn’t help that we’ve been told they have tiny ding-dings! For a moment I even considered that our great trophy will be a strong black man by our side. Uhhhhh No. Most super strong black women are single or wear the pants in their relationships. Sad, but true.


Like any trophy, the reward must be superficial and truly for show. It must be something that the recipient does not feel validated by, yet still manages to validate the recipient. For black women this is: Independence & Self-Sufficiency. If a black woman can get the world to take notice that they are doing the damn thang for themselves, it’s like a bitch slap to the haters & a gut punch to the nay sayers.

Black women are quite unique in that we seek out ways to become “strong” and “empowered” to help support a culture ravaged by generational (and perpetual) setbacks, but we still must be soft and supportive. For many women it feels like we are given the key to the prison, are locked inside, and then told to throw the key out the window. How wack. Either way it goes, that’s life. Men opt for kitty kat, Women opt for scratch.

Those are my thoughts….what are yours?