Investigating myself has been a humbling and mind blowing experience. There’s one thing to recognize a particular action, but to take a deeper look into why you continue doing it is something different. This is my blog so please allow me to air my dirty laundry for a moment…
I realize that I am affected by three main issues:
2. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
3. ACA or Adult Child of Alcoholism
A wonderful team of doctors is facilitation my care for Issue #1. I also take great care to learn as much as I can about the syndrome and work to reduce stress by maintaining a peaceful spirit. I think I have a pretty good grip on that one. As for Issue #2, that’s still up in the air. I’m presently up at 4:05 Am writing this post…working…thinking so it looks like I have a ways to go on that one. And lastly, Issue #3. This is perhaps the most complex of the three and perhaps the dirtiest item in my basket…
I did some research and dug up something called “The Laundry List.” It’s a list of 14 characteristics common to Adult Children of Alcoholism. The list is amazing and pretty accurate. For many years, I had a cut and dry understanding of how I was affected by alcoholism. I, Jasmine Danielle Taylor (The First), was totally and utterly dead freaking wrong.
The magnitude of the affects of growing up in an alcoholic household have had a varied and widespread effect on my life. The effects run rampart in almost every inch of my daily living. The symptoms guide my actions and complicate my dealings with of the heart & mind. Yet, I somehow feel a sense of solace in knowing that I am not alone. There must be others. I use the existence of the list for proof.
While I still have a long journey of healing ahead of me, I have completed an even longer pilgrimage to get me where I am today. The land of a diagnosis. That means 50% of my struggle is over, and you’ll get to view my Dirty Laundry in my blog. Could this mark the end of the Mary J. Blige syndrome?