That drawing is an initial sketch of my next tattoo. I was told that pain lets you know you aren’t dead yet. It’s no secret that I’ve had a lot of physical pain in my life, but it’s the emotional pain that has formed me into the person I have grown to become. Those “Dear” letters you read are examples of my most effective way of understanding my emotions, my pain, and growing from it. I use physical pain to fully move on from it. I used to do it in a very unhealthy way…self-mutilation. Please, nobody go that route. Luckily, I reached out for help before it got extremely serious (love you Lamarr & Emily Kemp)

I marked the place in my skin where I attempted to make my final cut with a tattoo of “Faith” written in Arabic. Having faith that God would bring me through he situations I was faced with at the time saved my life. Because of faith, I never saw the darkness in the tunnel…only the light at the end. Note: The tat on my back has no deep meaning, I really just got it for the hell of it

I have an ear of death. every time someone close to me dies, I add another hole. My other ear (with the scaffold) came about because I was hurting bad inside. You can’t say “ouch” to emotions, but you can say “ouch” to physical pain. I took all that emotional pain and channeled it to that ear.

After each piercing or tat, I feel a sense of relief and accomplishment. It’s like having a good cry. I suck at crying a significant amount of tears, but tats and piercings get the job done. In my world, pain doesn’t mean I’m dying. Pain is life. If you can still hurt emotionally or physically, you are still alive.

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