I could give a hott damn if anyone reads this post
I am writing for myself.
Why not write in a journal?
Honestly, it’s easier to type and I need it in a medium that can’t be destroyed
Plus I have that small glimmer of hope that someone will learn/understand/be inspired by my pain.


Everything that I put up with right now is for you. God says you aren’t supposed to hate, and I don’t. I don’t hate anyone, but I hate what certain people put me through. I hate what I have to endure. I hate that I feel helpless and am to scared to jump out on faith. Hopes, Dreams & Faith, you’ve kept me going. You are the reason why I’m still alive. You exist in my head and will only die once I take my last breath. Until then, nothing can harm you.

Hopes, Dreams & Faith, you know my inner thoughts and you never judge me. You don’t judge me because I envy orphans. You don’t find it strange when I wish that I had no parents and no blood relations. You understand what I’ve been through and why I wouldn’t cry if my mother was to die. It’s you alone that keeps me going.

When I hold my tongue from what I really want to say when my mother starts fucking with me, you know that I’m only able to do that because of you. My Hopes, Dreams & Faith let me escape to a place far away when I’m financially independent and can say whatever the fuck I want to say without becoming homeless. I cling to my Hopes & Dreams, believing that if I make the right moves they’ll come true. My Hopes & Dreams will get me far away from this hell that I currently live in and far away to Atlanta where I can simply breathe and enjoy living instead of cringing through every minute of it.

Hopes, Dreams & Faith: I know you’ll set me free.